Lucky
by Mimichee
Summary: Here's another story about Haku not coming back. Chihiro returns home safely and eagerly waits for Haku. When 6 long years pass, she finally convinces herself to go back. But she soon finds out that the second time may not be so lucky...


Summary: Here's another story about Haku not coming back. This is my first Spirited Away fic, so bear with me. *ahem* Chihiro returns home safely and eagerly waits for Haku. When 6 long years pass, she finally convinces herself to go back. But she soon finds out that second time may not be so lucky...

Disclaimer: I do so solemnly swear that I do not own Spirited Away. I also solemnly swear that I wish I did.

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Chapter 1

Dreaming

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Chihiro sighed as she watched the puffy, white clouds drift lazily across the light blue sky. The sun beamed down on her, warming her while a light breeze caressed her and the soft green grass she lay upon gently tickled her skin. Off to the distance was the sound of children's' laughter, but she made no move to join them. Her eyelids slowly closed.

_And here she was again, in the "Room of Want", she called it. Yes, by now she had been there so many times, that she had given it a name. But that was all it was, a room of want. Because in front of her, he would always be there, silently watching her, taunting her with his eyes. _

_But no matter how much she wanted him, she would never have him._

_Each time, he would just stand there, always watching her, never saying a word. Each time, she would always reach out to him, and call his name, but he would never react. Each time, she would try the same things, and each time, nothing would happen._

_He made no move other than to watch her, always keeping her within sight, but that was all. She found nothing in his once meaningful eyes._

_She ran to him out of desperation, and as expected, she ran through him as though she were nothing but a ghost. An icy cold chill ran through her as she remembered how it felt to almost vanish, to almost be gone from existence. She shivered. It didn't matter how many times she dreamed of the feeling, she would never get use to it._

_She turned around to face him again. He watched her, but did nothing. _

_Never moving.___

_Always watching.___

_She returned his gaze, aware of the tears sliding down her cheeks. Time stretched on and she finally had to look away from his eyes, beginning to study him instead, looking him over carefully, but sure to keep away from his eyes. His dark green hair, his stance, yes, he was just as she remembered him, but taller. She soon found herself looking into his eyes again and felt a shudder pass through her. _

No. _Not the same. __She told herself. _

_His eyes were so cold…unfamiliar…She reached out to him, knowing that nothing would happen, but still trying anyway. _

I just want to touch him…just once more…._She thought. She was so close to him now, and she had a strange feeling that something different would happen this time. Something she wasn't sure of…_

_She reached him now and put her hand to his cheek, her eyes widening. She'd gone through him, had felt nothing there, but what surprised was that he had reacted. He h_

"Chihiro! CHIHIRO!" She opened her eyes and groggily sat up, nearly crying in frustration. "Chihiro! Over here!" Looking around, she turned to see a boy her age waving at her, his short blond hair shining brightly in the sun. He ran over to her, smiling brightly. When he had reached her, he peered down at her, his eyes shining with concern. "Ah…Chi-chan, I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

_YES! _Her mind cried angrily. However, "It's all right. I shouldn't have fallen asleep anyway." Chihiro gave him a small smile, hoping that he would go away.

He didn't.

He scratched his head, a light tint of red spreading across his cheeks. She looked at him expectantly. "Do you…want to play soccer with us?" He asked shyly. Chihiro groaned inwardly, wanting to snap at him to leave her alone. She wanted to scream, cry, _anything_! Just as long as she was _alone_!

She managed an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Cay-kun. I should be getting home."

Cay-kun's smile fell slightly and he reluctantly turned away. "Oh..Okay. I guess I'll see you later than, Chi-chan!" 

When she was sure he was gone, she sighed and got up, beginning her lonely trudge home. Her mother came home later to find her with her head resting on her arms, quietly staring out the window. 

"Chihiro!" Her eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Hi Mom.." Chihiro replied tiredly.

"Chihiro! It's a beautiful day! Why aren't you outside playing?"

"I was."

"Well, all you do is sit around at home doing nothing! Why don't you go outside and—?"

Chihiro got up abruptly. "I'm going to take a nap." But when she got to her room, she flopped down onto her bed and reached for the phone. 

"Moshi moshi, Kamiya resident."

"Hi Leah. My mom was just about to give me one of those, "I think you should go out and socialize more" speeches on me. How annoying." She expected to hear some indignant cry of agreement, or something that might have made her feel better, but she was only met with silence. "Oh Leah, not you too." She whispered.

"...Well, sorry Chi, but I think you should, too. I mean, everyone likes you and all, but lately you've just been so…out of it. It's so hard to even talk to you now. And it's just…Well, I mean, Cay-kun likes you a lot." She said, changing the subject. "Why did you turn him down?"

_Because he doesn't have grey eyes, green hair, and his name isn't Haku. _"I just don't really like him like that. Listen," she said, changing the subject again. "Remember when I told you about when I went into that other world?"

At the other end of the line, Chihiro heard Leah sigh. "Chi, I thought you had gotten over that fantasy thing. I know you've been having a lot of problems lately, like your arguments with your mom and stuff, but you gotta know when to draw the line between dream and reality!" 

"But it's not a dream! I know it's not. And I've been dreaming about him for the past few weeks. It's not a fantasy, Leah."

"I know, I know." But she sounded so fake, Chihiro knew that she didn't believe her. Leah was the only person Chihiro had ever told about her adventure, and she had been so sure that her best friend would believe her.

But she didn't.

"Sorry, Lee, I'm kind of tired. I think I'll be taking a nap now."

"Oh, okay...Bye." But Chihiro had already hung up. She lay back down on her bed, ignoring the feelings of hurt and hurt and betrayal in her chest. _Leah doesn't believe me. I'm all I have left_. And she closed her eyes, letting herself fall into the sanctuary of her thoughts.

_I want to forget so badly, or at least believe that it was really a dream. But the memory and images are just too vivid, and my emotions for him are too strong, I know that it _can't_ be a dream. _

_But then...Why hasn't he returned after 4 years? Maybe you did just imagine it all. Maybe you were just looking for a friend when you moved...And anyway, your parents don't remember it... _A small voice at the back of her head rationalized.

_Haku__ said that they wouldn't._

_Is Haku real?_

_Yes._

_Do you honestly think so? From the very bottom of your heart? Do you really believe all this?_

Chihiro opened her eyes and jerked upright. Her room was dark and the bright red numbers on her digital clock flashed 7:36. 

_Do you really believe it?_

Her head pounded angrily. What could she say to that? Did she really believe? She had no idea. Sometimes...Everything made sense...but other times....

"Chihiro! Dinner!" 

"Coming!" Chihiro called, glad for the distraction. 

The dinner was exactly as Chihiro expected it to be – totally normal. Her dad talked about his business and the day's clients, while her mother listened eagerly and told him about her day at the market. 

When the table became silent, and there were no sounds other than the clicking of their utensils on their plates, Chihiro couldn't hold herself back any longer.

"Mom? Dad? Remember about that other world I told you about?" She blurted out. She looked at each face hopefully, looking for some sign that they did remember it and they did believe it was real.

But, like any other normal family, they didn't believe her. Or, more correctly, they just wouldn't. 

Her mom and dad exchanged glances before her dad continued with his meal, choosing to ignore her. Her mother put down her fork and sighed. "Chihiro, I thought I told you to stop pretending. It's getting old. You're 17 years old now! It's time that you grow up."

"But mom, there's proof! What about all that dust and foliage on our car after we came out of that…that old amusement park?" She argued.

"Chihiro, we've gone through this before. We'd fallen asleep in there, remember? And as I recall, there was a strong wind that day. It could have easily blown loose dust and leaves onto the car while we were sleeping. It _was_ in the middle of a forest." 

"What about the movers? Did they say—?"

"The movers, Chihiro, were drunk when we talked to them. I could smell the alcohol in their breaths."

"My purple hair tie—!"

"You got it from your friends with that bouquet when we moved." Her mother said with a touch of impatience.

"But—!"

"I've told you, it was just a dream you had on the way to our new home. Now, drop it." And she did. Some small part of her had hoped for her mother to say something like that, so that she could have some solid basis to stand on. But the answer her mother gave her, though the one she wanted, did nothing but leave an even emptier feeling inside of her.

When she walked past her mirror, she couldn't help but stop and stare at her reflection in disbelief. Even after all these years, she couldn't understand how she had changed so much. A tall girl with a long, brown hair that flew out behind her like a veil stared back at her. She didn't tie back her hair anymore, but still kept the small hair tie on her wrist like a bracelet, which, even after all those years, still held a mysterious sparkle.

As she had grown, her body did too, curving in all the right places. It was obvious that she had grown quite a bit over the last few years. She wasn't the scrawny little 11 year old girl anymore, even though she still dressed like a tomboy. She was by no means beautiful, with her mousy nose and plain eyes, but she was far from ugly. 

A sigh escaped her lips as she fingered her hair, staring at the mirror sadly. But it was no longer her she saw in the reflection. In her place stood a tall young man with short green hair and large gray eyes. He smiled at her. "Haku...Where are you?" She smiled sadly. "I've changed... Would you even recognize me?" He only smiled.

He was so close... Just within reach... She reached out a hand and touched his soft cheek, except she didn't. The cold surface jolted her back to reality, and she once again found herself looking at her own reflection. Chihiro stared at it in shock, her hand shaking. She shook her head and took a deep breath, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"I've got to stop this. It's not real. None of it is. Haku, Aburaya, Rin, the Spirit World, it was all a dream." _And I'll do anything I can to believe that! _

But when Chihiro came back into her room to go to bed, the earlier questions came back to her in a tidal wave of thoughts. With them came a headache, which throbbed mercilessly, determined to be noticed. She gritted her teeth, but was somewhat glad for the headache. It kept her focus on something other than her problems.

As she lay in bed, she sighed as the insistent pounding in her head continued to slowly intensify. It didn't help that no matter how painful her headache was, she couldn't distract her thoughts. 

The words still echoed in her head, but oddly enough, unlike the other times, it didn't sound like her voice. The voice was familiar and warm...and it made her feel safe and loved....understood... 

But no matter what they did, they still stirred up old feelings and memories that she didn't want, and she resented that. 

_Do you really believe it?_

_I don't know..._

_Do you really believe it?_

_Please leave me alone..._

_Do you really believe it?_

_Stop…_

_Do you really believe it?_

_Don't ask me anymore_

_Do you really believe it?_

"STOP IT!"

Chihiro sat straight up in bed, panting and gasping for breath. Beads of sweat slid down her face and she felt as if all the wind had been knocked out of her. The headache had dulled, but it was still there, nagging at her, unrelenting.

There was a prickly feeling at the back of her neck and she looked around the room, suddenly aware that she wasn't alone. Dark shadows loomed across her room, lit by the small beams of moonlight that filtered through her window. "Who's there?" She called out nervously.

From the shadows stepped out a boy with dark, green hair and grey eyes. Chihiro couldn't help but gasp. "You..!" The boy only nodded and moved to walk out the door. She watched him, unsure of what to do. When he saw that she wasn't following him, he held out a hand and beckoned to her.

"Come on, Chihiro. Let's go back."

His voice was the same...Just as she had remembered it. This was not a dream. In all her other dreams, he hadn't spoken. But just now...

Chihiro got out of her bed and followed him out the doors. 

"How are we getting back?"

He didn't answer her, and she didn't press on it. They reached the stairs and began to descend, but halfway down, the stairs gave a violent shake. The walls around her began to wobble as well. As she stared wide eyed around her, the stairs and walls stopped shaking and started to bend every which way, constantly moving.

"What's going on? Everything is changing!" She cried.

"Everything is always changing." Was his reply. He reached out a hand to her but didn't look back.

She grabbed onto his hand tightly and he led her down the stairs and into the kitchen. Except...It didn't look like her kitchen anymore. They passed through her entire house, but it had become like a maze to her. Each room was unrecognizable.

Finally, they came to a stop in a room that Chihiro was sure she didn't remember. It was round and circular. The walls were black and seemed to stretch on forever. It was like being in the center of a galaxy. Around her, flashing white letters moved; floating, disappearing, flying about. They all bore the same words: Do you believe it?

"Where are we?" Chihiro whispered, staring at her surroundings, frightened. Haku finally turned around and looked at her, his steely gray eyes glinting strangely by the light of the words. 

"You world is always changing, Chihiro." He said. "But the question still remains: _Do you believe it?_"__

Chihiro sat straight up in bed, panting and gasping for breath. Beads of sweat slid down her face and he felt as if all the wind had been knocked out of her. She looked wildly around her room, but she knew before she had looked that she was alone.

_Do you believe it?_

She jumped out of bed, ran to her drawer as quietly as she could and began stuffing things into a duffel bag.

_Yes, I do believe._

_And I'm going back._

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Phew! Glad that's over with. I'm really nervous about my writing and this story and everything, especially since this is my first Spirited Away fic, so please review and tell me what you think. Remember, constructive criticism! 


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